i just had sex bonerless
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think I sprained my soul last night
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
