Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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