weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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