i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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