Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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