Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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