wanna go halves on a baby?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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