Need sex. Gaining weight.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
