Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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