Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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