So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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