My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
high people should be assigned attendants
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Green mimosas i think yes
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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