We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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