I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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