My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
