Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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