people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
