What a fucking waste of an outfit
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
