Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
