ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
