Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
