Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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