Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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