Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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