We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
