It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
