glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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