my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Don't make out with my wife yet
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Randomize