i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
you made out with another girl for some wings
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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