I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
