In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize