U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
