Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
