I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I have aggressive nipples.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
