Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just had sex on a roof
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
