nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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