D3 body, D1 cock
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This is the high leading the old right now
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
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