Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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