Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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