i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
