she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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