the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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