Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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