If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
