he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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