How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I have feelings that need drinking.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
