He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dicks are not precious.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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