how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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