i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
