that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
