just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so let's talk penis.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize