You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
