do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
