5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
