I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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