This is not my ceiling
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
did i walk over a car last night?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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