Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
