I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
