I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
