I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
