Dual....:-)
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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