Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
