theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she looked like the before picture.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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