Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
