You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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