Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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