need another drink. this is the easiest way
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
