do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
